“Our Little Secret”: Lindsay Lohan deserves better

What it’s about Don’t you hate it when something like that happens? You’re spending Christmas with your boyfriend’s family for the first time. You arrive at the big meeting with the parents and sister at the house and then realize that the sister’s boyfriend is the ex from whom you had a painful breakup ten years ago.

Ugh, it’s really just the worst.

That’s exactly what poor Avery (Lindsay Lohan) experiences in the new film “Our Little Secret,” the latest project in Lohan’s collaboration with Netflix (which also spawned “Falling for Christmas” and “Irish Wish”). Avery is dating Cameron (Jon Rudnitsky), while her former love Logan (Ian Harding) is involved with Cameron’s sister Cassie (Katie Baker).

Avery and Logan make the unfortunate decision not to reveal this connection. Mom Erica (Kristin Chenoweth doing her thing) and dad Leonard (Dan Bucatinsky) watch over everything.

Hilarity ensues and Hollywood veteran Stephen Herek (“Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”) collects another directing salary.

MY SAY This is a bad movie in so many ways that it seems strange to start with a tiny pinch of positivity.

Nonetheless, here it is: The career resurgence of Lohan, who grew up in Merrick and Cold Spring Harbor, remains a good thing. Your talent is intact. She does what she can with Avery. It’s not her fault, at least as far as her acting goes. She needs better projects asap.

However, as executive producer of Our Little Secret, Lohan may have some responsibility. After all, it’s hard to imagine a more unimaginative film.

It plays exactly as you’d expect, and it’s exactly what it appears to be: another cheap attempt to cash in on some Christmas cheer, a cog in an ever-growing Christmas content machine.

It inspires no emotional connection, there are no interesting characters, there is no chemistry between the stars and there is not the slightest reason to be bored. In fact, “Our Little Secret” just sits there, the cinematic version of Dead Air making its way through the motions before mercifully coming to an end.

It’s not a Hallmark movie, but there’s little discernible difference. There’s probably a better movie on the Hallmark Channel right now.

The premise certainly has potential: the tagline invites viewers to “have a very embarrassing ex-mas.” Get it? Good comedy can always be derived from awkwardness; One of the greatest television shows of all time, Curb Your Enthusiasm, built its entire existence on this very thing.

But the few times the film tries to make something humorous out of the strange situation Avery and Logan find themselves in, it creates a very strange idea of ​​what is funny. Maybe the sight of Lohan accidentally getting high and quoting Kool & the Gang’s “Celebration” while speaking at a mass strikes you as the highlight of the comedy. If yes, please enjoy it.

CONCLUSION Please give Lohan better movies.