Review of the Netflix Christmas films 2024: “Hot Frosty”, Lindsay Lohan

Photo illustration: by The Cut; Photos: Netflix

Celebrating Thanksgiving after an election is always fraught with stress. Afterwards we celebrate Thanksgiving The The election finally showed me that I understand people who leave their families to go on vacation cruises. But we must find joy, or failing that, distraction where we can. One thing I’m thankful for is that Netflix really went over the top with Christmas movies this year.

In addition to licensing several Hallmark Channel hits, the streamer produced several original films (some of which star Hallmark regulars like Lacey Chabert). They all offer the simple comfort of a romantic comedy with insane storylines that only someone like Lindsay Lohan can bring to life. Which one should you watch first? All!

➼ Logline: “When a young widow’s magical scarf brings a dashing snowman to life, can it help her rediscover romance, laughter and holiday spirit before he melts away?”

➼ Connection to Lindsay Lohan’s cinematic universe: The main role is played by Lacey Chabert, Lohan’s old wife Mean Girls Co-star. This is directly referenced in the film with some slight breaking of the fourth wall.

➼ Will it distract me from my family and the world in general? Yes. The premise itself requires constant attention: A snowman? Has come to life? And he’s hot? We see said snowman, played by Schitt’s Creek Star Dustin Milligan strolls naked through the town square, visits a doctor who measures his internal temperature at 30 degrees Fahrenheit, and eats diner food like a dog for the first time. And yet…we know he’s the perfect (snow)man for Chabert, a restaurant owner suffering from the death of her husband. (This is not a fact either to sad: It is presented when Milligan finds some old medical records in Chabert’s basement and innocently asks, “What is cancer?” ); The town sheriff, played by Craig Robinson, is extremely present in daily life; and no one seems to have a smartphone. (Kathy wakes up to a clock radio.) Also, Chrishell Stause from Sell ​​Sunset makes a cameo appearance.

➼ Christmas comfort rating: Seven knitted scarves full of transformative magic.

➼ Logline: “To save her parents’ small-town nightclub, a Broadway dancer stages an all-male Christmas revue – and meets a man with all the right moves.”

➼ Connection to Lindsay Lohan’s cinematic universe: It stars Chad Michael Murray, LiLo’s co-star Crazy Friday and what is to come Freakier Friday.

➼ Will it distract me from my family and the world in general? Apparently. I was captivated by the opening scene, in which star Britt Robertson appears as “Jingle Belle” in a Christmas spectacular on Broadway. The show is clearly modeled after the Rockettes, but the dance moves are straight out of a fourth grade tap dance recital. When Robertson is fired from the show because she’s too old (boo), she returns to her small town to find her parents are behind on the rent on their historic music venue. So of course she hires her handyman (Murray) to perform in a Christmas-themed, PG-rated strip show to raise funds. He can’t dance either, but that’s okay. There’s mild tension in the third act as Robertson gets a call to return to the Jingle Belles for a 25 percent raise, but that’s OBVIOUSLY not enough to make him give up on the romance with CMM. My only criticism is that they should have gotten Robertson a better wig, but that alone was a welcome distraction. Don’t hesitate to pass the time by marking the changing position on her forehead.

➼ Christmas comfort rating: Six Magic Mike–like body rolls.

➼ Logline: “After discovering their significant others are siblings, two disgruntled exes must spend Christmas under the same roof – all while hiding their romantic history.”

➼ Connection to Lindsay Lohan’s cinematic universe: Lohan himself can be seen in it.

➼ Will it distract me from my family and the world in general? What do you think? But: There is a time jump of ten years between the opening scene and the rest of the film, and to close this gap, director Stephen Herek has decided to summarize some important events from 2014-24 in the opening credits. This introduces a dose of reality that I’d rather not see in Christmas movies; moreover, the events appear to have been chosen at random. (The Notre Dame fire? That time a ship got stuck in the Suez Canal? A photo of Bernie Sanders at the 2020 inauguration?) Luckily, reality leaves the building as soon as the film begins. Ian Harding, who played the predatory English teacher pretty Little LiarsShe’s surprisingly charming as Lohan’s ex-boyfriend, who happens to be dating her new boyfriend’s sister. As Harding and Lohan try to hide their past from their potential in-laws, hilarious banter ensues. Lohan eats too many cookies and blames it on a Yorkie, who is then quickly rushed to a vet, played by Chris Parnell, aka Dr. Spaceman out 30 Rock. There’s a long gag where Lohan tries to read from the Bible while unintentionally high on weed gummies (does she somehow nail it acting-wise?). And the whole thing, confusingly, hinges on Lohan teaching Harding how to use Canva so he can win a contract to develop a “lifestyle complex” for seniors in suburban Atlanta. Kristin Chenoweth is there too! I barely had time to look at my phone.

➼ Christmas comfort rating: A whole plate of Christmas cookies and weed gummies.